“She needs to contribute more” ♡

Hey everyone, ♡

Hope you are all doing really well, I am currently writing this in a swelteringly hot bedroom, it is currently the UK’s annual heatwave and as much as I want to be, I am not good in British heat and having lessons and mocks has been so draining and awful, so I am so glad it is over. Today’s post is going to be all about being a quiet person and always being told to speak up and feeling like it is a bad thing not to be so confident and to contribute to discussions. I hope you enjoy the post, it means so much you are taking the time out of your day to read this post!

What inspired me to do this post was a personal experience that I had a few months ago. I was at parents evening and literally every teacher who talked to my parents said I was nice, hardworking etc but then there was always the fact that they added at the end ‘ it would be good if Eden would answer questions more’ ‘it would be lovely to see her contribute more in lessons’ ‘it would be great if Eden would speak up’. So suddenly it all clicked in my head that they see me being quiet and writing things down and not speaking up and putting my hand up as a bad thing. When actually now I want to stand up and say it is OK, I am a good student, I don’t cause trouble and I just get on with it, I contribute when I know the answer and no one should ever feel pressured to speak up or be a louder person.My friends and family will tell you that I can be loud and confident, I am like that when I am around people that I trust and am totally comfortable around, I just don’t feel that in school, maybe in a way I choose to take the easier route but I don’t want to add to the conversation or answer the question and sometimes I don’t have things to say. I love to listen to people, take all the information in and then help people at the end. I know sometimes I can be a bit loud over my friends when trying to get my point in, but again it goes back to the fact that it is okay to be quiet, sometimes I feel like I am two totally different people in two totally different situations. But in the lessons I feel most confident and happy in I do contribute, I just don’t want the whole class to be silent and me just talking as that is the worst to me, everyone focused on me.Would any situation work if everyone was constantly trying to talk over each other and butt in? No. But on the other hand would any situation work in the whole place is silent and it is just kind of awkward as there is no noise? No. Like everything in life, this kind of thing has to have balance, we need some people who are confident and will always contribute because they are never scared to do so and we need some people like me, loud sometimes and quiet sometimes, I only contribute when I want to and only if I feel comfortable. And then there are people who are quiet all the time and just want to listen and don;t want to contribute at all and that is so totally okay. Let’s all just be us, be who we are and not feel guilty for that because that is the beauty of living in this world everyone is different and special in their own ways and that is so so so LOVELY!

It goes back to the fact of  any of us conform to what is expected of us? Some of us are ridiculed for being disruptive, too loud or silly and others too quiet, serious and timid. Can we ever win, will society ever give us a break from the pressures of be like this or be like this and I would have to say no. We are always going to feel like we don’t fit into a perfect shape of what we believe or have been told we should be and the media doesn’t help this. And even for me, I am always going after what I don’t have thinking it will make me more likeable or more respected: more confidence, don’t care what anyone thinks, smaller feet, curvier body. When in actual fact, it won’t change anything, I want to use my platform to say let’s all be happy with who we are and grateful for what we have. We spend way much time wanting to change and being sad because we don’t have things or look a certain way rather than living and what a waste.

Trust me, I know how hard it is to try and forget these things, but at the end of the day don’t let them stop you from doing what you want and achieving your dreams because one day, we will all be old and have a different outlook on life and regret how much time we spent worrying.So let’s end this post on a high note, me being too quiet and anyone else reading this who feels they are too quiet, you are not, you are YOU and that is the best that you can be! Anyone reading this who feels they are too loud, you are YOU and your not, everyone reading this be proud of who you are because I know everyone who reads this is amazing and that without you, I would never even feel able to write a post like this.  Let’s all stand together and be proud of who we are and not so easily conform to what is expected of us! Don’t change for anyone else but yourself because then it is not for you and won’t make you happy, only change for you if it will make you happier.

Thanks so much for reading this post, you are all AMAZING!

Lots of love,Eden xx

15 Comments

  1. July 12, 2018 / 5:12 pm

    This was lovely Eden and super relatable! I’d get that comment too in my junior year but when I started senior I gained more confidence and talked a bit more but I’m still super shy and quite and I guess I’ve learned to accept it! Keep using your platform to write encouraging blogs like these

    • everythingedenblogs
      Author
      July 15, 2018 / 7:01 pm

      Thanks so much, I am so glad that you find this relatable, I am definitely going to write more of these posts! Thanks for reading lovely xx

  2. July 12, 2018 / 5:24 pm

    This is so true! Society will never be pleased whether you are quiet or not. I was described exactly the same as you and I just never contributed to class discussions because I simply didn’t want to. Also, there is always that annoying person who wants to prove what everyone is saying is wrong😂 I’d just rather get on with it. Even teachers need to stop saying that we should ask more questions. If we don’t have any, what’s the point?? Loved this post Eden! xx

    • everythingedenblogs
      Author
      July 12, 2018 / 5:25 pm

      Yes so true, you are so right, I’m so glad you agree with my post. Thanks for reading xxx

  3. July 12, 2018 / 5:34 pm

    I can so agree about that teacher situation, like “you should put your hand up more during lessons!” well I am sorry just because I don’t feel like talking as much as others in class doesn’t mean that I am not paying attention or learning less. Such an important, lovely post! Also you look gorg x

    • everythingedenblogs
      Author
      July 12, 2018 / 5:35 pm

      OMG yes you are SO right and that’s so true and thanks so much. Xxx

  4. July 12, 2018 / 6:09 pm

    i often receive the same feedback on my school reports and it can sometimes put a bit of pressure on me. of course i answer the question when i can but i don’t like to be forced to answer something that i do not know the answer to! x

    • everythingedenblogs
      Author
      July 12, 2018 / 6:12 pm

      Yes you are so right. Thanks for reading x

  5. July 13, 2018 / 6:41 pm

    This is such a relatable post! Totally agree with what you said, we need a mix of people in society for everything in the world to work xx

    • everythingedenblogs
      Author
      July 14, 2018 / 10:52 am

      Yes exactly thank you xx

  6. July 13, 2018 / 6:44 pm

    So relatable! It is so important in society for everyone to stay true to themselves and for everyone to be different, everyone is good and bad at different things 🙂 xx

    • everythingedenblogs
      Author
      July 14, 2018 / 10:52 am

      Yes xxx

  7. July 14, 2018 / 12:57 pm

    Totally agree with this post Eden! I’m not the quietest in my lessons, however in maths, where I’m very unconfident, I NEVER contribute as I don’t want to show myself up & get it wrong. I hate being picked on by teachers too, it’s horrible. There should be no pressure for anyone to contribute more then they feel comfortable, but likewise everyone should feel as though they are able to contribute if they want (which I know is often not the case and I sometimes don’t feel able to contribute!). Really important & lovely post 💗💗

    • everythingedenblogs
      Author
      July 15, 2018 / 3:48 pm

      Yes exactly Soph, so glad that you agree with me and enjoyed the post! Thanks for your lonely comment aswell xx

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